A Moment to Remember Jessie

My pack and I suffered a huge loss this past week.  Jessie, our 12 year old mix breed dog was euthanized Wednesday Dec 12.  Jessie was diagnosed in July with mouth cancer.  She was given meds which allowed her to enjoy an action packed summer of play and pack walks.  Unfortunately recently the cancer spread quite rapidly into her upper jaw and behind her eye socket putting pressure on her eye.  Even on the medication she was in a considerable amount of pain and was having difficulty eating.  The decision to end her life was a torturous one.  But in my heart of hearts I knew she was ready to leave us, even though I was not ready to let her go. But it would have been selfish of me to keep her around just because I didn't want to say goodbye.

  Each and every one of my dogs enriches and enhances my life and  my pack.  Jessie was no different.  As the matriarch of the pack, Jessie provided structure and guidance to the younger members.   She played an important role in pack walks. With older dogs, she was a kindred spirit, and with shy dogs, she provided calm security for those that may have been intimidated by high energy dogs. She was an excellent role model for teaching people how dogs discipline other dogs.   Jessie was one of my original dogs of my pack that moved with me to this area 8 years ago, and as so she provided the structure for the core pack as we welcomed new dogs and also as we said goodbye to those that left us. 

Jessie was a “rescued” dog although I don’t ever like to dwell on that.  Jessie had a rough start in life but we didn’t let that define who she was, so much so that I quite often forgot about her beginnings.  And as a result she taught me that a dog with fear aggression and an impressive bite history can overcome and move on as long as we, the people in their life let them.  

 In her younger years, Jessie excelled in obedience classes.  Every grade exam there was a fun game of musical chairs with a sit stay. Music stops, owner has to put the dog in a sit stay and then take a chair.  If the dog breaks the stay the owner has to give up the seat to correct the dog allowing the other people the opportunity to “steal “the chair.  Owners without a seat were allowed to try and cox a dog out of a sit (without using the name or come command of course).  I am proud to say that Jessie and I won that game of musical chairs every time.  I laugh when I think back to her grade 3 exam, when we won the game again, because one of the other owners tried to accuse us of “cheating” 

The instructor at the time simple said “no they just have a really wonderful bond with each other”  I will remember that day and those words because it was a perfect response to the situation and so true.

Oh, she wasn’t perfect by any means   We always received a “needs improvement “ on the “retrieve” or the “go to “ portion of the exam because she  would not leave my side. She would merely watch me throw the toy, see where it landed and look back at me as if to say” what?” It took forever for me to convince her to leave and go over to the toy. She would eventually do it but she didn’t look happy about it.

Because of her fear aggression issues my husband and I were cautious  of her behaviour when our first child was born but Jessie proved us wrong and not only tolerated all our children but also protected them. She not only accepted them into our pack but immediately respected their position above her without hesitation. And although it is true that Jessie didn’t necessarily like everyone she met, in the end I believed she liked the right people.  I know all the pack walkers from this past year would agree.

For me, she has left a huge hole in my heart. I miss her terribly. But I know she is in a better place and is no longer suffering.  Rest in peace Pickle. (aka Jessie)